I'm having "one of those days". No matter which way I turn in the mirror, no matter how I style my hair, I cant satisfy myself today. I had hoped buying new sweaters, actually fixing my hair, and putting makeup on would make me feel better. I can only hope its my period making me feel this way, although its not changing my appearance.
I keep telling myself "today is the day you start your Welbutrin", yet here I sit, another day gone by, and I still havent taken it. I'm so afraid, but I'm more afraid that this wait is going to drive me mad. Tomorrow. I will take it tomorrow.
Thanks to a friend and her research, I feel a little more confident about the surgery being approved by the insurance. I dont think I can really breathe a sigh of relief until I get the call.
I think the blogging has helped some, although I still have so much that hasnt been written, feelings to be exposed, thoughts to script, and who knows what else hiding inside my head.
I need to take my "before" photos soon. I may not post them right away, but then again, I need to see them everyday. I need to remind myself everyday of what I've done, and what I'm doing to change it all.
I daydream about the new me all of the time. I think about the clothes I'll wear constantly (yeah, somewhere inside IS a girl). I get excited of the thought of buying something in a normal clothing store. I have a feeling once I hit my goal the husband will have to take a loan out. My mother promised me $1,000 for a shopping spree, but anyone who knows my mother can only laugh along with me. But damn, the things I could buy...
How funny. The local news is doing a story on weight loss surgery and how people need to lose weight before the surgery. If only they knew how hard that actually is.
Well, this can be chalked up as my "scatter brain" blog for the week.
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