Well hello beautiful, its been a long time since I've seen you....

HA, don't I wish I was that confident. Maybe soon, but not yet. By beautiful I mean under 200lbs. I'm currently 182lbs (give or take a lb depending on the day). I haven't been under 200 since I was a senior in high school (which I can blame on the weight I gained with my daughter who was born when I was 17)

Anyway, I still need to update on the first few weeks, which since I'm like 5 weeks behind I'll make short and sweet.


The first two weeks were awful, and I don't even think there is an adjective out there that really would describe how bad it was. My breast milk supply was next to none, Thing #4 spent almost all day on the breast and I could feel the life being drained from me. I was only on clear liquids still and most of the time I didn't even want anything. I wasn't hungry, I wasn't thirsty, all I wanted to do was sleep. I was so weak and frail I could hardly pull myself off of the couch or even out of bed.


The family that did see me (which consisted mainly of my husband and kids, my in laws, and one of my sisters) were very concerned. I dropped 28lbs within 10 days, awesome right? Not really when you felt like you were on the verge of dying. Sadly, I wish I could say that's me being dramatic but when I went to my 2 week check up my surgeons nurse was pretty concerned about me. My sister had to drive me and wheel me in a wheelchair as I couldn't even stand up without feeling like I would collapse. She told me that I NEEDED to stop breastfeeding, that, (in a few short words) that it was slowly killing me. I felt crushed. I wasn't ready, and neither was Thing #4. I wanted to go until at least a year with him. I needed him as much as he needed me, but I knew if I didn't do what was best for ME there would have been no me for them.


The weaning process went a lot smoother once we found a formula he would accept. He wouldn't even take any of the donor milk I had for him, and thank to the generosity of many sweet mama's I was able to build a small stock of formula to get him through. For me, it was hard. It took 2 weeks for my milk to dry up, and all I wanted to do was put him back on, but I felt myself getting stronger and I knew it was for the best.


Spending 3 weeks on pureed foods was HELL. I mean, how many times can you eat scrambled eggs, pureed tuna, chili, chicken, etc and not want to throw up? By the end of my 3rd week I found myself forgetting to eat, mainly because I couldn't stomach any more puree. I experimented a little with taco meat, string cheese, and softer foods and I seemed to do ok.


At my 2 month appointment I had not gained or lost any weight but Judy (Dr Hamads nurse) said I was still doing wonderfully and I looked amazing. I laughed and said it was a huge change from having to be wheeled in. I told her how exciting it finally was to be able to try clothes on and be EXCITED about it. I was now down to a size 14 jeans from a size 18 and almost in a medium shirt (I say medium because I have loose skin on my arms that I need to tone, and that keeps me from being a true medium). She advanced me to "soft" foods and told me I'll see her again at the end of October, and from there I can finally be back on the "stabilization phase".


I left a lot of the hard times out simply because there are days I still ask myself if I did the right thing, if I made the right choice, but every day gets a little easier and I feel more confident in my decision.


I'm ready to start hitting the gym and tightening and toning. Now, if only I could afford it. I love the gym, its ME time, and I love getting a good sweat in.


And to end this with a NSV (non scale victory) I fit into a size 12 yesterday!! And, hubby is taking me shopping tomorrow for a few new outfits. Oh, did I mention my birthday is in a few weeks? 30 is going to look SO good on me!!!