Wow. I have to say I'm really shocked. Never in my life did I think I could lose 40lbs in 3.5 months!
I was having a lull for awhile, then all of the sudden I stepped on the scale and BAM, 3lbs down. Wonderful!
We had a birthday party for the kids' today. I cant believe in just a few days my baby will be 2, and in 2 weeks my other baby will be 8. Seriously time, you can slow down. It was nice but O-M-G it was so hot. It got to the point where I was sweating so bad and was so hot, I started seeing purple spots, which I figured wasnt a good thing. I'll try to post some pictures later, and for those who have me on facebook, they'll be posted tomorrow.
Well, thats all I have to say for now. Hope you're all well!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Chica Chicka Boom Boom
Boy I really slack at updating in here. I'm trying to keep up with all of you beautiful ladies :)
I think it might be time for another tiny fill, I'm not quite sure yet. We're going on vacation in about 3 weeks and my doctor said she'd prefer if I got filled (if I needed it), about 2-3 weeks before we go. There are times I still feel restriction, but somehow I still think I'm eating more then I should. Of course, there are times I'm still not making the best choices. The scale hates me again and hasnt moved in awhile.
I also havent been to the gym in almost 2 months. So many things are going on here that at the days end (or sometimes the beginning!) I am mentally exhausted that I couldnt even bear the thought of working out.
I'm also starting to become a little more confident. I actually went out and bought a tank top for the first time in about 5 years. (Then again it was so hot I would have walked around nude if it wasnt offensive and wrong) Although I've been purchasing more accessories then anything LOL. I am in love with Kathy Van Zeeland purses, and have already bought two, and I am trying to convince my husband that I need the third I've had my eye on. I'm just hoping it doesnt get bought! I havent seen it in stores and it is the most GORGOUS purple. Its not like offensive in your face purple, its like sheek "night on the town" purple. AAHHH! I WANT IT!
My kids's birthdays are coming up soon. *cue sob* My son will be 2 on the 17th and my daughter will be 8 on the 27th. Seriously time, you can slow down now. We're doing a joint small party for them, nothing extravagent. Cake and munchies is about it.
OOOOOOOO!!! Wipeout is back on *grins* (Yes, ADD moment). I am going to go watch people fall of the big balls. Hugs to all!
I think it might be time for another tiny fill, I'm not quite sure yet. We're going on vacation in about 3 weeks and my doctor said she'd prefer if I got filled (if I needed it), about 2-3 weeks before we go. There are times I still feel restriction, but somehow I still think I'm eating more then I should. Of course, there are times I'm still not making the best choices. The scale hates me again and hasnt moved in awhile.
I also havent been to the gym in almost 2 months. So many things are going on here that at the days end (or sometimes the beginning!) I am mentally exhausted that I couldnt even bear the thought of working out.
I'm also starting to become a little more confident. I actually went out and bought a tank top for the first time in about 5 years. (Then again it was so hot I would have walked around nude if it wasnt offensive and wrong) Although I've been purchasing more accessories then anything LOL. I am in love with Kathy Van Zeeland purses, and have already bought two, and I am trying to convince my husband that I need the third I've had my eye on. I'm just hoping it doesnt get bought! I havent seen it in stores and it is the most GORGOUS purple. Its not like offensive in your face purple, its like sheek "night on the town" purple. AAHHH! I WANT IT!
My kids's birthdays are coming up soon. *cue sob* My son will be 2 on the 17th and my daughter will be 8 on the 27th. Seriously time, you can slow down now. We're doing a joint small party for them, nothing extravagent. Cake and munchies is about it.
OOOOOOOO!!! Wipeout is back on *grins* (Yes, ADD moment). I am going to go watch people fall of the big balls. Hugs to all!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Happy 3 month bandaversery to me
Ok, I'm a few days late since my 3 month mark was on 5/22. I cant believe I've been banded for 3 months already. It feels like yesterday I was sitting at my seminar saying, "This is is, I'm going to do this".
I'm proud of myself, and for those who know me, those words are very hard to say. Some days I feel better about myself then others, but there are still days I feel that I havent achieved anything, and that even though I've lost almost 40lbs, I am still fat, obese, however you want to put it. I still have a long way to go, but I look back and I realize how far I've come.
My 18's fit, but I feel like I'd be happier in the 20's. I know its not a set back, but I dont want to put the 20's back on. I only have 1 pair of 18s. I went to the store the other day to try another pair on and they didnt fit, which was upsetting, but it took me a few days to stretch the 18's out I have one now.
Ok, enough with the jeans talk. I cant believe its almost June already. Seriously, where has the year gone? June is always a busy month for me, since my daughter gets out of school, and both of my kids birthdays are in June. My son will be 2 on the 17th and my daughter on the 27th. We also go on our family vacation the last week of June as well. Busy, busy!
Which is also why we planned on TTC our last baby next Feb/March so we dont have ANOTHER summer baby haha. I still have some pretty bad baby fever right now, and I'm hoping it'll subside soon.
Well, I guess I shall end this year. I'm trying to keep up with you guys, but if I dont get a chance, Happy Memorial Day to you all! (Yes, I'm a week early, but I'm always behind so I want to be ahead this time LOL)
I'm proud of myself, and for those who know me, those words are very hard to say. Some days I feel better about myself then others, but there are still days I feel that I havent achieved anything, and that even though I've lost almost 40lbs, I am still fat, obese, however you want to put it. I still have a long way to go, but I look back and I realize how far I've come.
My 18's fit, but I feel like I'd be happier in the 20's. I know its not a set back, but I dont want to put the 20's back on. I only have 1 pair of 18s. I went to the store the other day to try another pair on and they didnt fit, which was upsetting, but it took me a few days to stretch the 18's out I have one now.
Ok, enough with the jeans talk. I cant believe its almost June already. Seriously, where has the year gone? June is always a busy month for me, since my daughter gets out of school, and both of my kids birthdays are in June. My son will be 2 on the 17th and my daughter on the 27th. We also go on our family vacation the last week of June as well. Busy, busy!
Which is also why we planned on TTC our last baby next Feb/March so we dont have ANOTHER summer baby haha. I still have some pretty bad baby fever right now, and I'm hoping it'll subside soon.
Well, I guess I shall end this year. I'm trying to keep up with you guys, but if I dont get a chance, Happy Memorial Day to you all! (Yes, I'm a week early, but I'm always behind so I want to be ahead this time LOL)
Monday, May 17, 2010
Been awhile
I dont know why I keep this really, no one reads it anyway.
Well since I last wrote I had another fill, and an un-fill.
I got my second fill on the 5th. 2.0cc's, which had brought my total to 7.4cc's total in a 10cc. I gave myself a few days with liquids when I realized I wasnt able to keep anything down. I was so afraid to admit I was too full. Stepping on the scale and watch it just drop down at such a quick pace was nice (especially after a 5 week stall), but I knew it wasnt the right way, so I called the doctor and went in on the 11th for an unfill.
She was pulling my fluid out only to find ANOTHER cc in there! So total there was 8.4cc. She goes, "No wonder you've been so sick". She took .8 out and now I have 7.6cc, and happy to say I have wonderful restriction.
As you can see by my ticker I have lost 10lbs since my second fill, which is wonderful. I am almost 40lbs down in 14 weeks, and that is great. I went from a size 24 pants to an 18 :)
I hope you all are well, I'm trying to keep up but life hasnt been so good to us lately, and it doesnt look like its getting any better anytime soon.
Love to you all
Well since I last wrote I had another fill, and an un-fill.
I got my second fill on the 5th. 2.0cc's, which had brought my total to 7.4cc's total in a 10cc. I gave myself a few days with liquids when I realized I wasnt able to keep anything down. I was so afraid to admit I was too full. Stepping on the scale and watch it just drop down at such a quick pace was nice (especially after a 5 week stall), but I knew it wasnt the right way, so I called the doctor and went in on the 11th for an unfill.
She was pulling my fluid out only to find ANOTHER cc in there! So total there was 8.4cc. She goes, "No wonder you've been so sick". She took .8 out and now I have 7.6cc, and happy to say I have wonderful restriction.
As you can see by my ticker I have lost 10lbs since my second fill, which is wonderful. I am almost 40lbs down in 14 weeks, and that is great. I went from a size 24 pants to an 18 :)
I hope you all are well, I'm trying to keep up but life hasnt been so good to us lately, and it doesnt look like its getting any better anytime soon.
Love to you all
Monday, April 19, 2010
Stressed
My daughters first holy communion was yesterday. She looked beautiful and did so well, I was very proud. The party was a pretty good success, minus some drama from my SIL, and the food was delicious.
I just wish I would have been able to get rid of all of it. We have almost a half a pound of ziti left, and my favorite, pasta salad. Of course my MIL made like 8 dozen cookies, which, I have eaten about a dozen today. Go stress eating!
As soon as this food is gone out of my house, I'm going back to a liquid diet for a few days. I havent lost in weeks, and I'm starting to feel physically horrible again. I dont think I gave myself enough time for my pouch to get used to the fill, and a lot of times when I eat, it hurts. I know I'm not chewing enough and my bites are still too big.
I cant muster up the energy to get to the gym 5 days a week anymore. I want to so badly, I miss my classes, but I think I'm going back into a depression.
My husbands job is teetering by a thread everyday, and I'm so tired of waking up every morning going "So is today the day"? I hate Verizon, I really do. Thanks big CEO for fucking up everyone's lives.
And last and least (I guess), I have terrible baby fever. Seems like everyone around me is pregnant or TTC, and while I am over the moon for all of my friends, I wish I could just stop my birth control and tell my husband, "Lets do this!", but I know that would be the dumbest thing to do. I still need to lose at least 60 more lbs before I consider getting pregnant. Of course with my husband being laid off soon, getting pregnant is not the smartest idea.
I need to put more faith in God. I feel so hopeless anymore. Of course I will play the victim and wonder why every time we get a leg up it gets kicked out from underneath us. I just wish I had more faith.
I just wish I would have been able to get rid of all of it. We have almost a half a pound of ziti left, and my favorite, pasta salad. Of course my MIL made like 8 dozen cookies, which, I have eaten about a dozen today. Go stress eating!
As soon as this food is gone out of my house, I'm going back to a liquid diet for a few days. I havent lost in weeks, and I'm starting to feel physically horrible again. I dont think I gave myself enough time for my pouch to get used to the fill, and a lot of times when I eat, it hurts. I know I'm not chewing enough and my bites are still too big.
I cant muster up the energy to get to the gym 5 days a week anymore. I want to so badly, I miss my classes, but I think I'm going back into a depression.
My husbands job is teetering by a thread everyday, and I'm so tired of waking up every morning going "So is today the day"? I hate Verizon, I really do. Thanks big CEO for fucking up everyone's lives.
And last and least (I guess), I have terrible baby fever. Seems like everyone around me is pregnant or TTC, and while I am over the moon for all of my friends, I wish I could just stop my birth control and tell my husband, "Lets do this!", but I know that would be the dumbest thing to do. I still need to lose at least 60 more lbs before I consider getting pregnant. Of course with my husband being laid off soon, getting pregnant is not the smartest idea.
I need to put more faith in God. I feel so hopeless anymore. Of course I will play the victim and wonder why every time we get a leg up it gets kicked out from underneath us. I just wish I had more faith.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
First Fill
I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!
Of course, I dont pay any attention and was an HOUR late to my appointment. I thought it was at 11:15, turns out it was at 10:15, but they said they would see me so I wouldnt have to re-schedule.
I got in there and got weighed. I lost 11.5 more pounds since my last check up. Yay! So I'm down 25lbs in 6 weeks. They took a little while to get my port, and she actually bent the needle LOL. She tried to explain to me that I already had 3cc's in there, but it wasnt actually in the band, but in the tubing, I wasnt sure what that meant. I had 2.4cc's put in and will get another 2cc's when I go back in May.
Ok, switching gears, I'm watching Dr Phil right now and its only 10 minutes into the show and its INTENSE. Its got thin people vs fat people. This guy was trying to say "We're not fat haters but we hate fat behavior", then rips open and shows his shirt says "No chubbies". (He's some fitness trainer? They have Jillian Michaels on there too). Then the "fat" side went NUTS on him.
I guess my question to all of you is, how do YOU feel about fat people, or being fat, or even thin people? Do you think there should be a law to "protect" obese people from being harassed?
I dont think being fat is anything good by any means, which is why I took the own steps in my life to change. I know people can have the "big is beautiful" attitude, and I used to have it, until I realized how poorly my health was for my age, and realized that I could be dead entirely too soon because of my poor eating habits, my laziness, and my lack of caring.
Ok, I want to finish this show lol. Hope you're all well!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Oh death how you consume me
Yeah I know that title makes no sense. I have the dreaded "viral infection" that is going around and at this rate, I'd rather be dead lol. My head is clogged and I feel like I have razorblades in my throat, I'm also now running a fever. Yippee.
So I've been workin my arse off at the gym, and I really feel a new high being there. I have lost 5lbs just working out (and lost 2 more to being sick), and I feel great. My highest HR went from 182 (yeah, I know, thats like stroke worthy) to about 156. I feel so great working out and I love sweating! I get this new sense of pride and accomplishment when I push myself.
I love spinning, and I do like kickboxing, I just wish I was more coordinated lol. I missed spinning today and didnt work out more then a 1/2 hr yesterday because I'm so sick, but I try to be in the gym 5-6days a week.
I have my first fill Tuesday, and I'm hoping she doesnt look at my weight loss and go, "Well, I dont think you need one", because I really do! I can still eat bread and my portions arent as small as they *should* be.
Onto a new topic, my daughter found the "Easter Bunny" stuff, so now I dont know how to approach that tomorrow morning when she sees the same things from the EB that she saw in the closet. I was hoping to have a few more years of her believing, guess we'll see.
Well Im signing off for now, I feel like crap, Happy Easter everyone!
So I've been workin my arse off at the gym, and I really feel a new high being there. I have lost 5lbs just working out (and lost 2 more to being sick), and I feel great. My highest HR went from 182 (yeah, I know, thats like stroke worthy) to about 156. I feel so great working out and I love sweating! I get this new sense of pride and accomplishment when I push myself.
I love spinning, and I do like kickboxing, I just wish I was more coordinated lol. I missed spinning today and didnt work out more then a 1/2 hr yesterday because I'm so sick, but I try to be in the gym 5-6days a week.
I have my first fill Tuesday, and I'm hoping she doesnt look at my weight loss and go, "Well, I dont think you need one", because I really do! I can still eat bread and my portions arent as small as they *should* be.
Onto a new topic, my daughter found the "Easter Bunny" stuff, so now I dont know how to approach that tomorrow morning when she sees the same things from the EB that she saw in the closet. I was hoping to have a few more years of her believing, guess we'll see.
Well Im signing off for now, I feel like crap, Happy Easter everyone!
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