You dont learn anything unless you talk and be honest.
I've been cheating, a lot. But I've come to realize you cant break bad habits you've had for years overnight. I could sit here and say "Oh, yes, I've been textbook to the T", which would be nothing more then a boldfaced lie. We're all human, we make mistakes.
I wish I could say I'm full and feel satisfied after I eat, but that isnt the case at all. I know its going to take some time before I find that "sweet spot", but I really think its going to take longer for me then I thought.
I've ceased making anymore goals. Making a goal is like setting myself up for failure, which is rather sad. I've never had high expectations for myself because I've always ended up being disappointed. Like now. I told myself I was going to be 20lbs less in 2-3weeks, and here I am UP 3lbs.
16lbs is still good, this I know. But when you have so much weight to lose, 16lbs is almost a joke. I think what bothers me the most now is when I talk to someone the first thing out of their mouthes anymore are, "So have you lost more weight"? No, actually I've gained thanks. No, I dont really say that, could you imagine all of my neysayers responses if I said that? Its like being pardoned on death row and then going out and killing people. (ok, so that may be a little extreme, lets say getting a slap on the wrist for shop lifting then going out and stealing a thousand dollars worth of stuff).
I need to get to the gym. I was cleared for any exercise I feel I can do (minus ab work obviously), but since my husband is always so busy and never around at night I havent been able to make it there to sign up. I want to sign up for some cycling and kickboxing classes, as well as lots of cardio.
22 days until my fill...Hoping that can help kick start me back into weight loss.
God people have no tact sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI think that a relationship with food like you have had your whole life...doesnt just disappear into the ether when you get the LB surgery. You need to fight it and you need to fight hard. So you fell down a few times. No need to give up! Just keep plodding. I disagree with setting goals. All it does (for me at least) is make me feel like an ass when I dont achieve them.
One day at a time Heather. One ounce at a time. It will happen, but it WILL take time as well.
xxx
My friends ask me how it is going and I just say, this isn't a fast process, you won't see me 50 pounds down next week, there is still a lot of fills, etc. So, that clues them in that it won't be overnight, so they don't need to ask as much. I realize they are just asking because they are excited, just like me, so I am not offended.
ReplyDeleteSkinny people don't get it sometimes!!! lol
Heather, you are not even a month post op. Your swelling from surgery has worn off and now you have no restriction. Stop beating yourself up. You'll get your fill and you will start losing again. You have done so great so far. Hang in there.
ReplyDeletewell as you know i am in the same boat as you...let's help each other and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps!! since you can't get to the gym to workout, what about a dvd? i used to use the biggest loser ones and they kicked my ass!! or if you wanna feel sexy, try the carmen electra strip tease workout! it's a good workout and you feel sexified!! :-)
ReplyDeleteHeather, it will get better and you are not alone in this. It is a daily struggle! Keep the faith and things will get better!
ReplyDeleteHeather, know that you are not alone. I, too, am going through almost the exact same thing. With that said know that each day's journey will come with obstacles (choices to make) and that is you must remind yourself of what you want long term to overcome them.
ReplyDeletehow are you heather??
ReplyDelete